by Katie Bray
10. Running towards the THING that is trying to kill you. Big cult orgy raising a demon? RUN AWAY.
9. Not taking the shot. Shoot first, aim for the head, ask questions later.
8. Staying put and not leaving the house/town/situation. True fact: there are no vengeful ghosts in Aruba.
7. Running out of gas. Seriously, who taught you how to drive?
6. Splitting up. *sigh*
5. Disrespecting the locals. *ahem* Building anything on an ancient burial site is ALWAYS going to get you killed.
4. Being an atheist. Satan doesn't give a shit if you don't believe in him.
3. Being the uptight outsider. R.I.P Barb
2. Not going with your gut. Have you never read The Gift of Fear? No joke - it is a really good book to read.
1. Being a dude. Sorry! Girls survive and boys never get revived.
And, for fun:
Five Unintentionally Scary Films I Should Have Never Watched as a Child
5. Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer. This was the first in a long line of cartoon movies that kept me up at night. See also: Felix the Cat, The Secret of NIMH, Watership Down, The Last Unicorn, and the Raggedy Ann and Andy movie. Actually, name any cartoon movie from the 70's, 80's, and early 90's that isn't just a bit TOO much for anyone under age eight.
4. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. What the fuck, Spielberg?
3. Ghostbusters. Slimer was really real and real upsetting, guys. Especially his teeth.
2. E.T. Seriously, what the fuck, Spielberg?
1. The Never Ending Story. No child should ever have an existential crisis because of a horse.