by Rosalie Kicks, Old Sport and Editor in Chief

“It’s hard being a person…”

As I write this, I am toiling away in a corporate office daydreaming about my imminent escape: a grandiose plan that will give me the opportunity to live life as a dabbler extraordinaire, in essence, an existence that is free. However, even with a magical bright future lying at the end of this dark tunnel that I have been traversing for the past sixteen years, sometimes my thoughts still manage to be morbid. Much like the character Fran (Daisy Ridley) within the film, Sometimes I Think About Dying it is often unavoidable to think things would be better if I bit the dust.

Starting as a short film from the same writing team, Sometimes I Think About Dying tells the story of a thirty-something year old woman, Fran (Daisy Ridley) who lives a mundane existence filled with routine and cottage cheese. Each day seems consistently consistent: wake up, march to her office cubicle, head home to her cat and tub of curds. She does, however, experience moments of solace in between her excel spreadsheets by gazing out the window at the Pacific Northwest landscape and dreaming about her death. Whether it be washed up at the beach or dangling from a crane hook choked, each vision ends up the same: she’s dead. I’d like to believe the prospect of death means the mind is finally quiet and, if I had to guess, is the reason for Fran’s pining for expiration. When a new person, Robert (Dave Merheje) starts working at her office, he attempts to get Fran out of her comfort zone and into the land of the living.

I had initially caught this film at Sundance 2023 and am thrilled that it will finally be making its way out into the world. Earlier this month I had the opportunity to chat with Director, Rachel Lambert and Actor, Dave Merheje about the picture and its upcoming release. Find my full review of Sometimes I Think About Dying starring Daisy Ridley and Dave Merheje here.

Check out Sometimes I Think About Dying in theaters Friday, January 26

Rosalie Kicks (RK): What interested in you directing this project?

Rachel Lambert (RL): The script was sent to me by my producer Alex Saks in November 2020. We were all very steeped in pandemic times and this was a film that put a lot of attention on how we fill a day, on what brings our day meaning, what brings our life meaning, about isolation, and the desire to connect. That all really felt appropriate for where I was at the time. I think where a lot of us were. On top of that, Fran is a very unique female protagonist: complex, challenging, funny, endearing, and fragile. That’s rare to have a film feature a woman like that.

RK: How about you Dave, what drew you to get attached to the project?

Dave Merheje (DM): It was the script. I had multiple conversations with Rachel and just getting to know her, the story, her perspective, and her vision. But it was the trust I felt right away… that was big for me because I had never been in a movie.

RK: Rachel, what were some of the biggest challenges you faced while filming, especially given the time-frame with the pandemic?

RL: It was shot when we were still very much dealing with it. It was during the 2021 Delta surge. So it was still around us and we were still only learning how to live with it and that was certainly a challenge. Daisy has said often and I agree with her, the excitement of being with people and being able to be with them, share meals, time, and work after so long of not being able to… it fused us. I think it influenced our immediate familial relationship and connections on set. What a wonderful asset that turned out to be. With every challenge, often an asset or innovation comes from it. That’s filmmaking; filmmaking is often problem solving.

RK: Along the same line, did any happy accidents occur?

RL: That’s hard to say because there is a lot of improv in the film, so there’s plenty that wasn’t planned. Most of what you see in the office is improvisation. I built and insisted upon happy accidents; that was sort of a part of the plan. There were plenty of scenes that were word perfect from the page. I think that my responsibility is to set the tone, to create that atmosphere that does require planning. There’s a lot of preparation and planning in creating the right space for artists to do their most inventive, innovative work. There were things that were found or created on the day, but I don’t know if it falls into the category of accident… it was more purposeful. We showed up and we had to, on the fly, find the image, find the composition but you have to do that sometimes. When you’re wrangling with nature and improvisation for instance, you’re still mindful as you’re making those choices and it is important to be able to do that.

RK: Dave, I found that you had done some TV work previously. You mentioned this was your first film, are you hoping to be in more?

DM: Oh yeah, that has always been the goal. I mean, you just get to go away… you build this story and you build this other life. I like building stories and just being characters.

RK: Let’s talk about the location where you filmed. How do you feel the location played a role?

RL: Setting is casting. You’re casting the setting and every location. I take the casting of locations incredibly personal and serious. In conversation with Alex Saks (producer) we decided on the Oregon coast for a host of reasons. I was not familiar with Oregon, I had never really been there before, so I had to find Oregon. I went there very early before anybody else and sort of took up residence. I had not even put Astoria on my list, and I was going through there on my way back to Portland from a day of driving around… there was magic to it. The suspension; it felt caught between the past and the present. It felt like it had been washed up on the beach itself. It felt, as a result, the perfect space to meet and match the thematics of the piece. It could support the marriage of the naturalism and the magical realism in a way that made sense, that was believable.

RK: Dave, what did your process look like, how did you prepare for your role?

DM: I prepared with Rachel, talking to her daily and asking her questions. I hired an acting coach and ran the scenes multiple times with friends, probably weirding people out in public. But I also drew from experience as well. Prior to the film I had been in a situation where it felt really familiar with the interaction with Fran. So I drew a lot from the that. I also remember Rachel told me to write the character’s story. So I had like a backstory of what I thought about this individual, their feelings and what their past relationships were.

RK: While you were filming do you feel that there was any particular risk that you took and did it pay off?

RL: I loved watching Dave make a risk every day - to watch him do this thing with all the actors. I think the risks that took might have been… I am a planner and knew that I wanted a transcendent image for the final image of the film. I knew I wanted there to be an integration or a fusion between Fran’s inner life and her outer life. I had no idea what that would be and it was tormenting me. I was losing a lot of sleep. This was also true for the visions to some extent. I was trying to predict them at script level and then realized I can’t. It had to be formed by the place and the character. I had to meet Fran, I have to see the world. Just suspending my desire to plan, suspending my desire to control… and going, you will find it, it will happen.

RK: What’s on the horizon for each of you?

RL: I’m very superstitious, so I don’t say much but I do have something I am working on with Alex Saks and the creative team that was on this one, it is a film called Carousel.

DM: I’m trying to develop, hopefully, a TV show in Canada. My land of home.

Check out Sometimes I Think About Dying in theaters, Friday January 26