by Hunter Bush

Howdy, howdy one and all. How's everybody doing? Dark lord but it is hot out! I dunno how things'll be where you are, or when this drops but as I'm writing it we are heading into the dog days of summer in Philly. Nevertheless I'm back hunched over my laptop, the click clack of my fingers on the keys battling the susurration of a fan and clink of ice cubes in my glass, all to bring YOU, dear reader, the latest installment of Everything Old is New Again!

If this is your first time reading EOINA, what we (the royal we) do here is scour the internet for news of upcoming releases that fall into our specific purview: Remakes (where it was already a movie once before), Adaptations (where it started out in a different medium) and Legacy Sequels (where the gap between the movies is a little on the long side). So are we getting any Remakes, Adaptations and Legacy Sequels? You bet we are! Since health concerns will be keeping many of us from theaters for a while, EONIA has begun covering streaming services a little more in-depth than ever before! Now, the wide-release premiers will be listed as such (Premiers) while stuff that's just new to the service will be listed separately (Arrivals).

What happens is, for the Premiers, whenever possible I will watch the trailers and give you the gist of what I can glean from them as well as shedding a little light on where these particular entertainments originated. I hope that all makes sense because we're about to begin. Grab yourself a tall cool drink, and we're off!

AMAZON PRIME:

PREMIERS:
August 21st:

CHEMICAL HEARTS - Based on the book Our Chemical Hearts by Krystal Sutherland, this one could be about literally anything. The trailer is a 30 second teaser of two teens (presumably leads Lili Reinhart and Austin Abrams) sitting in the waiting room of some high school counselor or another and then they are called in... together. That seems to be a big deal for some reason. The description for this one says that both are transfer students and that their relationship grows as Grace (Reinhart) joins the school newspaper. There really isn't enough here to have any idea whether this is for me or not, but I'm going to speculate that it is not. UNLESS, once Grace joins the paper, she discovers something really gnarly hidden in the school's history and Henry (Abrams) helps her uncover and expose it at cost of life and limb...but not love because love is 4eva (especially in high school).

ARRIVALS:
August 1st:

3:10 to Yuma (2007) - Remake of the 1957 film of the same name. Also streaming on HULU.

My Bloody Valentine - Not sure if this is the 1981 original or not, but listing it in case it's the 2009 remake (which incidentally, is a lot of fun). Also streaming on HULU.

Spare Parts (2015) - Based on the Wired Magazine article "La Vida Robot" by Joshua Davis.

Spider-Man 3 (2007) - Third in Sam Raimi's Spider-Man trilogy, based on the Marvel comics characters created in 1962 by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko.

Top Gun (1986) - Inspired by a 1983 California Magazine article. Also streaming on HULU.

August 3rd:

Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019) - Based on the Nick Jr. TV series Dora the Explorer. Previously covered in EOINA Vol.10. Also streaming on Amazon Prime.

DISNEY+:

PREMIERS:
August 14th:

THE ONE AND ONLY IVAN - Based on the children's book written by Katherine Applegate and illustrated by Patricia Castelao, this looks like it spends all its time whipsawing between tear-jerking animals-should-be-free story (I'm a sucker for animal stories) and just the lamest jokes you could fart noise into existence. Sam Rockwell plays Ivan, a silverback raised from a baby - by Bryan Cranston - now performing in Cranston's circus as a frightening "angry gorilla" despite his in reality being quite docile and as we'll find out, quite an artist. After deciding that he and all the other circus animals (voiced by Helen Mirren, Angelina Jolie, Danny DeVito, Philipa Soo and Brooklynn Prince among others) should all be free, Ivan paints a vista of grass plains, green trees and blue skies on the inside of his plexiglass enclosure which makes its way to the news. And at some point all the animals escape. I said above that I'm a sucker for animals stories, and I am, but to get me to watch those movies, I bare minimum need real animals to be present. The One and Only Ivan is wall-to-wall with CGI ones and I just cannot muster any interest in that business. Add to the equation the humor, which includes making Chaka Khan (CHAKA KHAN!) voice the punchline in a literal Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road joke in this the year of our dark lord 2020 and this is the strongest off passes for me. Though I will admit that the line "Does the baby elephant get to be free?" got to me in a big way.

August 28th:

PHINEAS AND FERB THE MOVIE: CANDACE AGAINST THE UNIVERSE - Based on the animated series begun in 2008 which I have never seen, the only available trailer for this didn't give me a ton to go on. Why? Well, because it was essentially a music video. A young lady whom I can only presume to be the co-titular Candace (Ashley Tisdale) riding her bike through a suburban neighborhood singing about how it's a beautiful day and how nothing will stop her from enjoying it, not even her brother's exploits (which include escalators to the moon and treehouse robots among much, much more). I can only guess her brother is either Phineas or Ferb and furthermore that such exploits will most definitely kill Candace's vibe. If you're a Phineas & Ferb fan, I guess maybe this really lights you up, but it did zilch for me. I don't even like the art style if I'm being honest, so this one is a big skip for me.

ARRIVALS:
August 7th:

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010) - Inspired by the Ubisoft video game of the same title released to multiple systems in 2003, itself inspired by an older series of video games begun in 1989.

The Peanuts Movie (2015) - CGI animated film based on the characters and adventures of the Peanuts comic strip created by Charles M. Schultz in 1950, which ran until 2000.

August 14th:

Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018) - Based upon the Marvel comics characters respectively created by David Michelinie, Bob Layton and John Byrne in 1979 (Scott Lang / Ant-Man) and by Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz in 1999 (Hope Van Dyne / The Wasp). They are each legacy characters having inherited their respective superhero mantles from previous incarnations of the characters (created in 1962 & 1963 respectively). This is the 20th film in modern MCU film franchise begun with Iron Man in 2008. Previously covered in EOINA Vol.4.

August 21st:

Beauty and the Beast - Either the animated 1991 film based on the fairy tale published in 1740 by French author Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villenueve, or the 2017 live action remake of the 1991 feature.

August 28th:

Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016) - Inspired by the 1871 novel by Lewis Carroll, it is the direct sequel to the 2010 film Alice in Wonderland, inspired by Carroll's 1865 novel Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

HBO MAX:

PREMIERS:
August 16th:

LOVECRAFT COUNTRY - This series, based on the 2016 novel by Matt Ruff, looks really interesting. I'm not 100% sure what's going on, which is probably for the best considering HBO wants to keep viewers coming back, but what I can pick up has me itching for that premier date to get here. The plot seems to follow Atticus (Jonathan Majors) as he travels to what looks like a small southern town some time in 60s (?) to investigate some family history and possibly claim something owed to his family. Again, this is my estimation based on only what I've seen in the trailer and anything I may have gathered through cultural osmosis. Speaking of, the book has been on my radar for a little while, but my understanding was that it was more about the era of H.P. Lovecraft than about things from his literary oeuvre; y'know, a real Mankind Are The Real Monsters -thing. But then this trailer just straight up has a Cthulhu in it - I say "a Cthulhu" because, like most of Lovecraft's big bads, the C-dawg was loosely described at best and this leans pretty heavily on the popular culture interpretation which is inaccurate as it has yet to "destroy the sanity of those who see it", which seems to me to be an important aspect of the description, but I digress. So I kind of don't know what to think. There also appears to be flashbacks to Roman soldiers in battle (perhaps these scenes, like the Cthulhu, are a character's imagination?) and gallons of sinister atmosphere to spare. The biggest takeaway for me was that this is going to be tackling racism at a time when our country needs (sadly, still) to be reminded just how pervasive and ubiquitous it is to our country's past (and present, if hopefully not future). I will definitely be tuning in for this.

ARRIVALS:
August 1st:

All the President's Men (1976) - Based on the nonfiction book released in 1974 written by Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein.

Altered States (1980) - Based on the 1978 book written by Paddy Chayefsy.

Barefoot in the Park (1967) - Based on Neil Simon's 1963 play of the same name.

Batman (1989) - Based on the DC comics character created in 1939 by Bob Kane and Bill Finger.

Batman Returns (1992) - Direct sequel to the above.

Batman Forever (1995) - Sequel to the above, a.k.a. "the Val Kilmer one".

Batman & Robin (1997) - Sequel to the above, a.k.a. "the George Clooney one".

Batman Begins (2005) - Reboot of the franchise.

The Dark Knight (2008) - Direct sequel to the above.

The Bear (1988) - Inspired by the book The Grizzly King by James Oliver Curwood written in 1916.

Bee Season (2005) - Based on the 2000 novel by Myla Goldberg.

Before Sunset (2004) - Sequel to the 1989 film Before Sunrise which is also streaming on HBO.

Biloxi Blues (1988) - Adapted by Neil Simon (among others) from his semi-autobiographical 1984 play.

Blade Runner: The Final Cut (2007) - This version of the 1982 film based on the 1962 Philip K. Dick story Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? was put together in 2007.

Blue Crush (2002) - Inspired by Susan Orlean's Outside Magazine article "Life's Swell" published in 1998.

Contact (1997) - Based on Carl Sagen's 1989 novel of the same name. Also featured on an episode of the Moviejawn podcast Hate Watch / Great Watch, specifically HWGW Ep.16.

Driving Miss Daisy (1989) - Adapted by Alfred Uhry from his own 1987 play.

The First Wives Club (1996) - Based on the 1992 novel by Olivia Goldsmith.

Flipper (1996) - Based on the TV series that ran from 1964 - 1967.

The Fugitive (1993) - Inspired by the 1963 TV series that ran until 1967.

The Gay Divorce (1934) - Based on the Broadway musical Gay Divorce written by Cole Porter and Dwight Taylor from 1932.

Go Tell It on the Mountain (1985) - Based on the 1953 novel by James Baldwin.

Grace Unplugged (2013) - Inspired by the parable The Prodigal Son which you may know from The Bible, specifically Luke 15:11 - 15:32.

Harley Quinn: Seasons 1 & 2 (2019) - Animated series based on the DC comics character created by Paul Dini & Bruce Timm in 1992 to appear on episodes of the Batman: The Animated Series.

House Party (1990) - Based on director Reginald Hudlin's award-winning student film.

House Party 2 (1991) - Sequel to the above.

House Party: Tonight's the Night (2012) - Inspired by the above and long-gap direct sequel to House Party 3 from 1994.

Interview with the Vampire (1994) - Based on Anne Rice's 1976 novel.

Jeremiah Johnson (1972) - Inspired by the books Crow Killer: The Saga of Liver-Eating Johnson by Raymond Thorpe and Robert Bunker and Mountain Man by Vardis Fisher.

Jojo Rabbit (2019) - Based on the novel Caging Skies by Christine Leunens. Previously covered in EOINA Vol.11 and reviewed by Best Boy Ben Leonard for Moviejawn.

Leprechaun: Origins (2014) - A reboot of the Leprechaun franchise which began in 1993. The first four films in the series are also streaming on HBO.

The Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008) - Long-gap formerly direct to video sequel to 1987's The Lost Boys

The Lost Boys: The Thirst (2010) - Formerly direct to video direct sequel to the above.

Marvin's Room (1996) - Based on the 1990 play by Scott McPherson.

Maverick (1994) - Based on the TV series from the 1950s.

Monkeybone (2001) - Based on Kaja Blackley's graphic novel Dark Town.

My Sister's Keeper (2009) - Based on Jodi Picoult's 2004 novel.

Ocean's Eleven (2001) - Remake of the 1960 film. Also covered on an episode of the Moviejawn podcast Hate Watch / Great Watch, specifically HWGW Ep.18.

Raise the Titanic (1980) - Based on the 1976 book by Clive Cussler.

Romeo Must Die (2000) - Loosely inspired by William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.

Savages (2012) - Based on the Don Winslow novel from 2010.

South Central (1992) - Adapted from the 1987 novel Crips by Donald Bakeer.

Stephen Universe: The Movie (2019) - The continuation of the story lines and characters created Rebecca Sugar for the Cartoon Network TV series begun in 2013.

The Story of Vernon and Irene Castle (1939) - Based on the stories My Husband and also My Memories of Vernon Castle, both by Irene Castle.

Striptease (1996) - Based on Carl Hiaasen's 1993 novel.

They Live By Night (1948) - Based on the 1937 novel Thieves Like Us by Edward Anderson.

Three Days of the Condor (1975) - Based on the 1974 novel Six Days of the Condor by James Grady.

Walk the Line (2005) - Based on two autobiographies of Johnny Cash - Man in Black: His Own Story in His Own Words written by Cash in 1975 and Cash: The Autobiography co-written by Cash with Patrick Carr in 1997. [And reportedly NOT based on real life per My Darling Vivian]

Yes Man (2008) - Loosely based on the 2005 book by Danny Wallace.

August 8th:

Richard Jewell (2019) - Based on both the 1997 Vanity Fair article American Nightmare: The Ballad of Richard Jewell by Marie Brenner and the impossibly lengthily-titled 2019 book The Suspect: An Olympic Bombing, the FBI, the Media, and Richard Jewell, the Man Caught in the Middle by Kent Alexander and Kevin Salwen. Previously covered in EOINA Vol.12 and reviewed by the Old Sport for Moviejawn.

August 15th:

Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020) - Based on the DC comics series that has existed in one form or another since 1996, with a strong focus on the Harley Quinn character created by Paul Dini & Bruce Timm in 1992 to appear on episodes of the Batman: The Animated Series. Previously covered in EOINA Vol.13 and reviewed by The Old Sport for Moviejawn.

HULU:

PREMIERS:

LOVE IN THE TIME OF CORONA - In no way that I am aware of does this meet EOINA criteria, but I'm mentioning it here in the same spirit that I would point out to you that you may be about to step in a pile of horseshit.

ARRIVALS:
August 1st:

3:10 to Yuma (2007) - Remake of the 1957 film of the same name. Also streaming on Amazon Prime.

A Good Woman (2004) - Based on the 1892 Oscar Wilde play Lady Winderemere's Fan.

A Perfect Murder (1998) - A remake of Alfred Hitchcock's Dial M For Murder (1954).

Hellraiser (1984) - Based on director Clive Barker's novella The Hellbound Heart from 1986.

Legends of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole (2010) - 3D CGI film based on the book series Guardians of Ga'Hoole by Kathryn Lasky.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003) - Based on 3 of the many, many novels in the Aubrey - Maturin book series by Patrick O'Brian.

Monchhichis (1983) - Based on the Japanese line of stuffed monkey dolls from 1974.

My Bloody Valentine - Not sure if this is the 1981 original or not, but listing it in case it's the 2009 remake (which incidentally, is a lot of fun). Also streaming on Amazon Prime.

The Saint - Not sure if this is the 1997 film (which is fine) or the 2017 film (which is garbage) but either way, they're both based on the TV series that ran from 1962 - 1969 which, like the radio program that aired from 1944 - 1951, was inspired by the book series written by Leslie Charteris published from 1928 - 1963.

Sleeping with the Enemy (1991) - Adapted from the 1987 Nancy Price novel of the same name.

Stanley & Iris (1990) - Loosely inspired by the 1982 Pat Barker novel Union Street.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979) - Adaptation and expansion of the 1966 TV series created by Gene Roddenberry.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982) - Sequel to the above. Also arguably the best one.

Star Trek III: The Search For Spock (1984) - Direct sequel to the above.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986) - Sequel to the above, a.k.a. "the one with the whales".

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989) - Sequel to the above, a.k.a. "the religious one".

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991) - Sequel to the above. Intended as the farewell to the original series' cast, this one is a.k.a. "the one with Worf's grandpa".

Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) - The fourth film based on the TV series Star Trek: The Next Generation, which was the sequel series to the original 1966 TV series.

Top Gun (1986) - Inspired by a 1983 California Magazine article. Also streaming on Amazon Prime.

Up in the Air (2009) - Based on the 2001 novel of the same name by Walter Kirn.

Were the World Mine (2008) - Inspired by William Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream.

August 3rd:

Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019) - Based on the Nick Jr. TV series Dora the Explorer. Previously covered in EOINA Vol.10. Also streaming on Amazon Prime.

August 31st:

Casino Royale - It is unclear whether this refers to the 1967 film or the more likely 2006 one but either way, they're both inspired to varying degrees by the 1953 Ian Fleming novel of the same name. Also streaming on Netflix.

Quantum of Solace (2008) - The direct sequel to the 2006 Casino Royale, inspired by the James Bond character created by Ian Fleming in 1953. Also streaming on Netflix.

NETFLIX:

PREMIERS:
August 21st:

LUCIFER: Season 5: Part 1 - Allow me to first unpack this series' history by explaining that it's based on the comic book series of the same name written by Mike Carey from 2000 - 2006, itself a spin off from Neil Gaiman's The Sandman (1989 - 1996), both published by DC/Vertigo. With that out of the way, I should mention that while I've read all of The Sandman, several times in fact - it's one of my favorites - I never took the plunge into non-Gaiman expansions. I had an ex who swore up and down that the Lucifer books were really quite good, and I believe her, but still. I also have never watched any of this series. So I have NO IDEA what's going on in this trailer, but here's what I gather. At the end of Lucifer's last season, with the series' future uncertain, Lucifer (Tom Ellis) spread his wings and went back to Hell leaving apparently a whole team of (I guess) supernatural crime solves/butt-kickers on Earth and I guess they're keeping their particular home fires burning by going to elaborate night clubs and continuing to solve crimes/kick butts. Now, for the really-for-sure-this-time Final Season, he's BACK! But he's acting weird and, oh he's not Lucifer he's his twin brother Michael. I hope that wasn't a big reveal because the trailer straight up tells you in no uncertain terms that is the case. I may one day dive into Lucifer (book AND series) but I'm definitely not starting with the "twin brother season".

August 28th:

ALL TOGETHER NOW - Based on the novel by Matthew Quick (author of The Silver Linings Playbook) this seems like it will be heavily inspired by the music of The Beatles, but I have no idea because there's no trailer that I could find. Besides the title being the title of a Beatles song, the vague plot description about a high school girl with "musical aspirations" all but uses the exact phrase "get by with a little help from (her) friends". Nothing against the Beatles (I love the Beatles. My old band The Nonstop Mint used to cover No Reply.) but this kind of thing - writing a YA novel with Beatles stuff woven throughout it - feels like Boomer Grooming to me.

ARRIVALS:
August 1st:

The Addams Family (1991) - Based on the comic strip characters created by Charles Addams in 1938.

An Education (2009) - Based on the memoir by Lynn Barber.

Dennis the Menace (1993) - Based on the comic strip characters created by Hank Ketcham in 1951.

Jurassic Park (1993) - Based on the 1990 book by Michael Crichton.

Jurassic Park: The Lost World (1997) - Based on the 1995 novel, a sequel to the original prompted by the financial success of the original film.

Jurassic Park III (2001) - Sequel to the above films.

The NeverEnding Story (1984) - Based on the 1979 novel by Michael Ende.

The NeverEnding Story 2: The Next Chapter (1990) - Sequel to the above.

Nights in Rodanthe (2008) - Inspired by the 2002 novel by Nicholas Sparks.

August 13th:

Safety Not Guaranteed (2012) - Inspired by a classified ad that ran in Backwoods Home Magazine in 1997.

August 14th:

The Legend of Korra (2014) - Sequel animated series to Avatar: The Last Airbender that ran from 2005 - 2008, which is also streaming on Netflix.

August 16th:

Les Misérables (2012) - Adapted from the stage musical which premiered in 1980, inspired by Victor Hugo's 1862 novel.

August 28th:

Cobra Kai: Seasons 1 & 2 (2018 & 2019) - Based on the Karate Kid films (1984, 1986, 1989).

August 31st:

Quantum of Solace (2008) - The direct sequel to the 2006 Casino Royale, inspired by the James Bond character created by Ian Fleming in 1953. Also streaming on HULU.

SHUDDER:

PREMIERS:
August 20th:

RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE - This thriller about a comic book author and his friends being menaced by what might be a crazy fan of his comic, is actually based on a comic ("write what you know") from writer Justin Gray & artist Jimmy Palmiotti. Todd (Jesse Williams) is the creator of Slasherman, an incredibly popular R-rated horror comic and while on a trip (maybe between signing appearances?) he and his friends are attacked by someone in a welder's mask doing his best Great Red Dragon impression from Manhunter. This being a horror movie (directed by and co-starring Jay Baruchel!) this isn't an isolated incident, but that's about all I've got for plot. Visually, this looks pretty solid. Lots of colors and good lighting. I'm a horror guy, and a comics guy, AND a fan of Baruchel in general, so I'm onboard with this one.

ARRIVALS:
August 3rd:

Amityville 1992: It's About Time - Also known as Curse of Amityville: The Final Chapter, this 1992 film is the sixth in the Amityville franchise began in 1979 film The Amityville Horror based on the 1977 book of the same name by Jay Anson.

Well there you have it. In an effort to get this column to you as near the start of the month as possible, it is sometimes impossible to find complete listings of what's coming, but we (the royal we) do our best.

So what do you think? If anything here jumps out at you, leave yourself a reminder to check it out. And if you do watch something here, come back and let me know. All the Moviejawn folks (my beloved Jawnies) love to talk movies and TV so what better place?

Thanks as always to Ben and Rosalie for their oversight and for hosting and posting every EOINA and also to you all for reading it! Check out the podcast I co-host, Hate Watch/Great Watch, right here on the Moviejawn Podcast Network! On the latest episode, co-host Allison and I are joined by guest Gabby Reeves to talk about Brian De Palma's Blow Out.

Until next time - Long Live the Movies!